Braaaaains!

     It seems like there has been a huge jump in the popularity of "zombies" in pop culture over the past few years. Which I'm fine with. It's just when I grew up, zombies weren't anything like what they are today. There was nothing "popular" about them. Back in the day zombies were slow, undead,  rotting,  vagabonds that, miraculously, clawed their way out from underneath 6 feet of rich American soil to plague, bother, harass, [even consume the flesh of] those who remain living. And, for whatever reason, they were green and could only say, "braaaains."

     Then, on the other hand, you have what today's world portrays as a zombie. They are what I like to call, "State-of-the-Art Zombies." The modern day zombie has nothing to do with Hell being full, but rather, A controlling parasite or virus that spreads to humans and "zombifies" them. The S.O.T.A. zombies can run like Sonic the Hedgehog, jump like Super Mario, and can swarm like A "Zerg Rush". And to some pop culture icons, then can dance pretty well too. They are, without a doubt the scariest thing you could ever fathom.

     But in either case the premise behind any zombie movie is "Zombie Apocalypse." This "Zombie" problem is taking over. No matter how apathetic or "Full-Sprint-Cheetah" they're coming at you, You are GOING to encounter it.

      Chances are that a literal zombie apocalypse won't actually even happen... in the next 8-10 years... [All I'm sayin' is don't let your guard down, those rascals are sneaky!]. But I would like to submit that we are in the midst of a parallel zombie apocalypse happening right now; and have been for years! We're living in a spiritual zombie apocalypse where our rights, morals and faith are constantly under attack. We need to Defend ourselves and fight in order to escape infection.

     There's two ways to kill a zombie: Crush the body or remove the head. It's as simple as that.

[Write that down! That information may become invaluable to you and your family one day]

     Lets talk face to face for a minute. If your lookin' to survive a zombie apocalypse you gotta' be properly equipped. If you go out there swinging a garden hoe, you'll last about as long as a Kit-Kat on stage at The Biggest Loser. You gotta have the right gear. What weapons does God give us to defend ourselves in a spiritual zombie apocalypse? [No, not a den of lions] Hebrews 4:12 tells us:

   "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

     The word of God is the only weapon we can wield if we have any intentions to survive this spiritual zombie apocalypse. Exposure to the virus will infect you and take control. It doesn't matter if "Thriller" makes it look awesome to be a zombie, it's not. And if it is fun, it's usually gone by morning. And always leaves a bad taste in your mouth. [That was a zombie pun!] The weapon against the virus also happens to be the cure. If you have been infected, strictly adhering to the word of God will change us from a commandment-breaking zombie, to a commandment-keeping warrior! We have the weapon, we have the cure, all we need to do is decide which team we want to play on.

But wait, There's more!

       Scenario:

Your home, it's late [like we're talking 1, 2 in the morning], you're watching TV cuz there's nothing to do and you don't want to go to bed, What are you watching?
Answer: Nick At Night?

False!

[we can talk about Bill Cosby another day] 

Try again.

Answer: The History Channel, showing something about German aircraft in WWII 

Incorrect.

[the Luftwaffe is interesting and all, but only long enough to fall asleep]

Make another guess, I dare you. I can personally guarantee it will be wrong.

Answer: The Deadliest Catch
Wro-... actually normally that would be the right answer. I love that show!

[Go Time Bandit!:D] 

That is a good answer but it doesn't lead us to what I'm getting at.

The answer I was attempting to lead you towards is:

Infomercials! 

      What infomercials come to mind when you think of them? For me, The Magic Bullet. The Bow Flex. The Shake Weight. The Slap Chop. THE SNUGGIE! The Showtime Rotisserie Cooker [Set it, and forget it!!!]. But we cant forget the greatest of them all: Oxi-Clean!

     When legendary Pitch Man Billy Mayes pushes a product everyone buys it! how could you resist? With a catchphrase like "Billy Mayes here...", a beard more iconic than the Eiffel Tower, and a voice that could make a megaphone go deaf, there's nothing that man couldn't sell. So naturally when 'ol Billy started commercials for Oxi-Clean, sales went through the roof! Billy only sold good products. Oxi-Clean worked! It could get out anything out of clothes. If you accidentally spilled something or made a mistake and ruined a shirt, Oxi-Clean is sure to restore it to the way it was. Just follow the directions provided and with a little effort you can be lookin' like three easy payments of $19.99! Then as I thought of what exactly Oxy-Clean does to clothing, it reminded me of a similar cleansing Jesus Christ provides for us. 

   " Are you tired of feeling guilt and remorse? Do you feel weighed down by the consequences of sin? Are you looking for lasting happiness? 

Well look no further! 

Introducing: The Atonement of Jesus Christ. Because Jesus Christ loves us, 2000 years ago he provided a way for us to be relieved of those unhappy feelings that come when we break God's commandments and gain salvation. But that's not all, He also made it possible to live with Him and His Father in Heaven after we die. But how do we obtain this amazing gift? With just 5 easy payments of Faith, Repentance, Baptism, Receiving the Holy Ghost, and Enduring Till the End, salvation, too, can be yours! But wait, there's more! As his free gift to you all mankind will be reunited with their perfected immortal body after we die! Don't wait, apply The Atonement to your life today!" 

To learn more contact me or follow this link: Boom!

 

Does Evil Exist?

      I did not write this [it can be found on many cites throughout the internet]. But it's so darn good it begs  itself to be posted! Many of you may have already herd this.

     A university professor challenged his students with this question. 

"Did God create everything that exists?"

     A student bravely replied:
“Yes, he did!”
“God created everything?”
     The professor asked:
“Yes, sir.” the student replied.
     The professor answered: 

“If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are then God is evil.”
     The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

     Another student raised his hand and said:
“Can I ask you a question professor?”
“Of course”
     The student stood up and asked, “Professor, does cold exist?”
“What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?”
The students snickered at the young man’s question.
     The young man replied:

“In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody and every object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have too little heat."

The student continued.  

“Professor, does darkness exist?”

 “Of course it does."
     The student replied:

“Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton’s prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn’t this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present.”

     Finally the young man asked the professor:

“Sir, does evil exist?”

     Now uncertain, the professor responded:

“Of course, as I have already said! We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.”

     To this the student replied:

“Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness or cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is not like faith, or love, that exist just as does light and heat. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.”

     The professor sat down.

[You want more, don't you?]

Can You Hear Me Now?

    In a world with so many voices trying to infuence me, how do i know which one to listen to?

[Yeah thats right, i just threw down a thesis statement!]

     That's a serious question for alot of people. It can be hard to listen to that one voice telling you to do the right thing, when there's a ton of other voices telling you to do the wrong thing. Let us turn to the worlds most well-knows answer book for a little clarity on this subject: The Bible.

     So the Book of Revelation gives us the answer as to why there's so many influences on us:

Revelation 12: 4,7-9

     "And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth...

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven.

 And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him..."

      
      From this scripture [and others like unto it] we learn that there was a war in heaven before earth was even made. Where Lucifer [Satan], in attempt to overthrow God, led 1/3 of all our spirit brothers and sisters and revolted against the plan that was presented. Well this didn't turn out to well for 'ol Luci. He and all his followers we cast out, never to receive bodies. Needless to say they were quite vexed. So now all they do is float around earth trying to get us to mess up so we'll be as miserable as they are.

     Now I'm no mathematician [I'm not even a little good at math], but we're gonna make a rough estimate as to just how many spirits were cast out, so we know how many bad guys we're dealing with here. Google tells us that there is roughly 7 billion people on the earth today. The 1/3 includes all the people who have ever lived and will live too, so I'm gonna make a bold assertion and say that the full number of spirits is 568 billion [give or take a couple three bill.]. 1/3 of that is 189 billion evil spirits constantly hanging around Earth. Now there's if there's only 7 billion people on earth right now, we're pretty our numbered. In fact we're outnumbered 27 to 1. [Thanks Texas instruments ;D]

     But there is hope! Although you may have 27 bad guys ganging up on you, all you need is one sidekick to defeat them all. His name is "The Holy Ghost".

"So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!*" 

~Lloyd Christmas

     He's the the one good voice we try so hard to listen to and follow. He's the one all the other voices are trying to drown out. He's the one who is gonna win when the end comes, following his guidance drafts us on his team. The Holy Ghost will always prompt us to do good and follow Cod's commandments. And I know that that is how we are suppose to live our lives. Listening to the bad guys may make us happy for a little, but no more than that. Listening to the good guys makes us happy now, and forever [Mosiah 2:41]. The End.

To learn about the Holy Ghost, and how to receive it, follow the "Holy Ghost" link above. 

Find me on Facebook if you have questions about anything.

Procrastinate Later!

     I was gonna write a blog about procrastination, but i think I'll do that tomorrow...

Natural Man and His Cookies

     I've learned through my relatively short time on earth that my brain doesn't work like a normal persons brain... lol.  I can memorize, remarkably well, random facts and useless information. Pointless information like music and movie trivia, my brain just eats up. The plastic things on the ends of shoelaces are called aglets, the dots that Indian women wear on their foreheads is called a Bindi, "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" is a one-hit wonder song by the band Cutting Crew, A baby giraffe is about six feet tall at birth. [That was a huge tangent.. I told you my brain is crazy!] My brain thinks about random things that seem useless as well.
     Like the other day I was reading the scriptures, then a thought pulled my brain away from what i was reading, then one thought lead to another and here i am reading the bible, thinking about the Cookie Monster!

[Don't judge me, I'm going somewhere with this.]

     We as humans have basic desires and instincts that come with our bodies. We cannot control them. But we can control how we react towards them. "Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions." -Elder Dalin H. Oaks. We call this "the natural man" [or the natural gal] The scriptures help us understand this principle. From the Book of Mormon we read:

     "19For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord..."

~Mosiah 3:19

Example:
     The Cookie Monster is a character on the children's show "Sesame Street". He is notorious for having an insatiable appetite for cookies and exercising incorrect usage of grammar. "Me want cookies!" is his famous eating catch phrase, as well as "Om nom nom nom" [said through a mouthful of cookies]  The Cookie Monster is NOT a good example of resisting the natural man. We know he does not use table manners, talks with his mouth full, and doesn't use correct forms of the word, "I" when appropriate. But i'd venture to say that he has broken all 10 of Gods commandments, as delivered through Moses, as ways to obtain more cookies! He, seemingly, worships cookies, he'd steal cookies, maybe even kill for cookies, he lusts after them, he'd bare false witness to get more cookies, and covets other peoples cookies to be his own.... Just to name a few!

How this actually applys':

     We can see from other peoples choices what can happen if we don't resist the natural man. But it all begins with our desires. If we take our desires away from "natural man" things like our addictions [in this case cookies:P] and turn them to "Jesus Christ" things, we can improve the quality of our lives and make ourselves more happy. Through the help of the Lord, and our own effort, we can keep our desires focused on good things that keep us in line with gods commandments. We can "Putteth off the natural man" and recieve the joy and happieness that follows. I know this is true!